Wednesday, May 1, 2013

FUN TIMES WITH THE F.O.C.......



 I quote the great hip hop group whodini : “friends, how many of us have them , friends , the ones we can depend on …...” over the years my friendships seems to go through cycles , in the 90's it was most the guys I went to high school in the early part of the decade. Then around 95 ' it was the people I met on King st and people in the downtown party and bar scene . Then in the beginning of 2000 when my world of friends would change and I would have some crazy and somewhat embarrassing adventures with .

This group of friends would be a collective of men and women called the F.O.C which would stand for the Forty Ounce Crew ( and later thanks to some rebranding issues “focus on commitment”) . Most of the dudes in this crew were musicians playing in local punk and metal scene , but the captain of the was a the guy I would forge a lifetime bond with :Stu 40oz .

  • Stu; was from South Jersey , a hardcore Philly sport teams lover , and since I was from NYC we always had a mouth of war about our teams especially around football and baseball season . He is short in stature , but always had a big heart . The way we met was when he was working 3rd shift at the circle K where his aunt manage , and it was also the place where this mother and his cousin Charlie (aka chucktown madman ,his story will come later ..) worked at too  . At the time he was of the few people in Charleston who was still booking punk and hardcore shows at the local VFW halls .
  • Ian (aka:chunk ) Ian was Stu's younger brother , was almost a complete polar opposite of Stu . Where Stu was sensible, Ian was a bit impulsive. Stu started to ease back with his vices like drinking and doing hard drugs, Ian drove into his habit . But other than those short coming he was like Stu in the loyal department. Ian was the talent in the crew , a mutli-talented musican . He can play bass, guitar , drums and was good front man. He started a band with some of his friends from high school called “Two Steps Back”. The one thing that always stuck out about Ian ,especially at the local punk rock show was that he would show up in his waffle house uniform, sometimes still reeking of grease and body odor . That how he got his name ,because he worked at the waffle house , and one of the various ways you can add on to your hash browns. If you asked to be chunked that means you wanted ham chunks on it , But sadly Ian passed away last year and the void he left can't never be filled in our group.
  • Charlie(aka:chucktown madman): Stu and Ian 1st cousin in every crew you need that one guy who's a complete live wire , and charlie was that guy . Part John Belushi, and touch of Chris Farley , and sprinkle of A WWE villain. When Charlie was around the party was going to blow up in a crazy way . One of my greatest example of this was one time I was invite to keg party that this chick I was dating at the time , the parties was at her girlfriend's house because her husband was coming back home from serving over in the middle east . All it took of charlie to see the party was going lame and he did a hostile party takeover , him and Stu baby sat the keg and took over the radio , where there music was mostly top 40 shit , but once he took over , he started play hardcore metal , and death metal . Yeah we got reject from the party and almost broke up a marriage that night . Those are the things that happen when you add chucktown into the mix .
  • Jay (aka;straight edge jay ;aka the artist formally known as straight edge jay) Jay along with his 2 other brother are the fucking missing links, and so ways total fucking cro-mags . when I first met the guy I swore I thought  he was one of types of white guys that go postal and shoot up a large social center or a serial killer . He came off as complete sociopath, the strong , silent ,drug you and having in a pit in his basement kind of dude. But the more we talked the more I found him to be the funnest ,the most  honest dude I had the pleasure being around . If you look at him , his external appearance shows a man humble and fugal man, the 10 + years I've know the guy he only own 2.1 cars and I seen him buy a new sneakers once ever 3-4 years , but he has a smoking hot and loyal girlfriend and a very nice home in suburbs .
  • Cecil (C-murder): Not to be confused with the incarcerated rapper , but some of the things we had done in the past would've had him sharing a cell with him . There's sort of a fractured history with Cecil and I . in the past few years it been in repair , that a complete different story for another time , just to put it in a simple way we was roomies for a while and it was the interracial odd couple or one those sitcom show where two people with complete different lifestyles and outlooks on life are living with each other , but he's still a funny guy , even more funnier than chucktown. Also the unofficial practical joker of the crew . Like the when jay took some of us out to celebrate his divorce at the southern belle strip club , jay had gotten so hammered that he passed out in his truck , Cecil saw this as his time to strike , and took a black sharpie to jay's face and drawn to penises on each side of his face, and the words “I LOVE COCK” on his forehead, yep he's that type of asshole.
  • Tony C. (H.H. Aka hung honky) : Tony and his brother Brad has always been the ol' country boys with punk roots . The friendship I have with Tony is a funny one , even though we didn't spend a lot of time hanging with each other like in the case of some of the other guys in the crew, but none the less it been one that has left a strong impact on me . In my eyes Tony heart has always been in the right place but the woman he was dating at the time was trying to eat it, since she was soulless stripper who had a outright deep hatred for me , because I was a huge man slut , and was honest about it and I guess she was too busy being lying whore.

  • Brad (aka lord tool):Brad is the living embodiment of perseverance, where some people do dumb shit in there younger years and have to pay the price for those mistakes, most of those people find themselves repeating the same mistakes and are forever a slave to the system , but not Brad, he got his life together , found a good women and moved out to the country and live a quite life , but at one time he was a man on fire . Living his through a series of moments, but that the way it is with youth .
  • Brian & Sean : I refer to them as the stoner twins. Yes they are brothers and no they are not twins . Just two guys who like to get baked , play xbox and listen to metal . The one things that separates them is that Sean plays guitar and has a lazy boy , while Brian is a hardworking loving father .
  • Errol:every group of friends need a brain , and Errol is it . He makes being a nerd cool at times . There was a time we worried about him because we figured he'll be the 40 year old virgin , since he wasn't known to date a lot , but when he did ,he wifey her quick . Which is a good thing, that the one good man that most women try to search for loyal, funny , smart , most of qualities that most men lack . Just like Ian he's also musically gifted , and great multi media producer,in our group he's the backbone .
  • Straight edge mike (aka fat Mike), SxE Mike is one the bodyguards in the crew during shows (and I’m the other one ). since jay broke his edge , that makes mike the only straight edge guy in the crew. In the mosh pit he's the kind of dude you wanna have watching your back, he's big , and relentless.
Over the years we've shared glory , pain and loss, but through it we found strength in each other and like most dysfunctional families we've had our share drama . I always found it a honor to be bless with such friends and find comfort knowing that we found a brotherhood ,a bond that most people can't never have with other human beings. These people have way more funnier stories about me and other interactions , but this is my blog and my story if they wanna share them, then they are smart of enough to come up with their own damn blog.

Now you know I wouldn't write all this shit without having a funny story to tell , in which I do .I've always told stories that might have glorified in some points but I do have a lot of embarrassing ones , especially with these guys around here is two of them .

Mommy know breast........

In the early part of my friendship with Stu I used to chill with him and Tony , at Tony's house . Which was down the street from Stu’s house . At the time both Tony and Stu lived with their mothers. Most of the time we all just converge and hang out Tony's house .But it had two small flaws. One was his girlfriend Meagan. She was typical white punk rock girl . Pale , slim, and sporting a fucked up Chelsea hair cut .  Two ;She was also a stripper , now at the time I never told Tony about my personal disdain for strippers, I was just starting a friendship with him and because I like the guy a lot I keep my opinions to myself (which is very rare ). As time passed on, I got the hint that Meagan didn't like me .this got even worst when their was a rumor going around that she gave chucktown's brother a blowjob in the champagne room of the strip club she worked at , and the price of said service,$20. But noneless the jokes came flying and still I barely said anything until she said that didn't like me . After that I sort of join in with every one on the insults .

One night I came over to Tony's house to hang out , he asked me to bring some porn from my collection over . I brought over mostly interracial porn because that was the porn I watched the most at the time . We hang out and was talking for a few hour . I guess it was getting late or we just didn't know how loud we was in the living but all the sudden we heard this loud yell from from the back .
“TONY!, YOUR FUCKING FRIENDS NEED TO GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE , NOW!”
it was his mother and she was pissed ,we ran out the house like cockroaches when the light are turned on and left the house .

Standing by my car it just dawn on me that I forgot something
“Shit I left my movies in his room “, I said
“fuck it ,get it later she's pretty pissed , dude “, Stu said
“ok I’ll get up with him later “ , I replied

We loaded into my car and I drove Stu back to his. A few days later I call Tony up to find out when will he be home so I can pick up my flicks .
“hey Tony , when are you going to be home so I can grab those movies?”, I asked
“well.... not for a while, but if you're near by why don't you just go by and asked my mom to let in and get them , their in my room “ , Tony said .
“ok, well is she home now ?” I asked .
“ I think so dude just call her at the house and check “ , Tony replied
I ended the phone with him and dial his , his mother answered the phone .
“hello?” , she said .
“err yes Mrs. Carmichael?”I replied .
“yes...”
“ well this is Damond , I'm a friend of your son, Tony. I left some movies there and he said it was ok if I came by and pick them up “
“ oh , yeah he left on top of the entertainment center in the living room ..”
that was the moment when my heart drop . And I was thinking “why the fuck would he leave them in the fucking living room , doesn't he know how to hide his porn like a normal heterosexual male?”
That wasn't the worst part , she took the liberty of reading off the movie titles .
“let's see here......”
“white girls who love black cock.....”
“white anal sluts and hung black men “
“black tits and ass …..”
before she can finish the rest of the title I just quickly said , “yes that them I'll be over in 10 minutes”.
Now I have been caught with a bunch of porn possession when I was a teenagers, I wasn't embarrassed a little back then only because I didn't wanted to have the “talk” with my father ,but was someones else mother I don't know her that well nor do I know how liberal she is .

I walked up to the doorstep like a man carrying a shame of being caught jerking off in Sunday church service, hold my head as I knock one the door . She came to the door smiling with the movies in hand .
“here ya go..” , she said with a smile on her face...
“thanks you...” I mumbled.

At the time I was still in my 20's and I was father , basically a grown man , and someone else mother manage to make me like shameful child .

Road trips , videotape, and the folly of chucktown .

In the past I've expressed my love for road trips ,but this was the first trip I made with the fellas , chucktown, Stu, straight edge jay and went on a small road trip to Richmond VA. We was going to stay at Jay's brother's house , Matt for the weekend . Then on Saturday Stu and jay was going to Travel up to Petersburg to Jay grandparents house for a sofa , since him and his girlfriend at the time had just split up and he didn't have much furniture to call his own .

Now there's back story to this , a lot of it , so I'm going to give abridge version of most if .First part was that Stu came up with the idea of compiling all the video footage of the hardcore shows and funny we done into a crew type documentary. Since I had “borrowed” my brother's video camera and chucktown had a camera of his own we figured this road trip would afford us plenty of footage to full in the part between band performances , And it also happen to be that one of the bands that we was close friends with was also going to be in town in Richmond , so that was going to the grand finale for the video . Throughout most of this road trip this was when and chucktown grew a closer bond , but I thought he was comic genius, he was filled with plenty of witty and offensive comments:
  • when I was trying to parked his and also forgot the keys in the ignition , he shot back
    “I forgot your people aren't to using the keys in ignition".
  • when we was walking to Carytown which is a nice shopping area in Richmond, but there wasn't a lot of people of color walking around , and since I was the only black in the group of white guys , I was sticking out like the elephant in the china shop, so Chucktown yelled “YES WE KNOW HE'S BLACK!'' to a group of random white teenagers
  • Then there's was the time I was driving chucktown's car in downtown Richmond , chucktown , Jay's brother Matt was in the car , we're stopped at red light listen to hatebreed , it blasting out of car, I'm screaming the lyrics at top of my lungs , when a Fill size SUV rolls with car full of beautiful black women inside . Since this is south and a blackman screaming hardcore is about as rare as blackman wearing a dixie flag T-shirt . The driver honk her horn and said ; “are you al'right ?” before I can say  a word chucktown stuck his head out of the back and said with a big shit eating smile on his face; “it's cool , it just brought this negro yesterday !” , the of shock and surprise on their was priceless . They're so in shock by the comment when the turn green they we're still motionless.

There's plenty that happen on this trip . But the details of this outing is best to left to the men that experience it, plus I rather save that complete story for another time and another entry . This is mostly about what happen AFTER the trip .

Now we using Chucktown's video camera but we was recording on my tape , which I was trying to record over some video's with me have sex with 3 different women at separate times . Since I already transferred the most of the footage to a regular VHS tape I didn't need to keep the original copy around . This trip give me a chance to delete the footage. Once we got back to South Carolina Chucktown asked to borrow the tape so he can relive the events from the weekend , it did sound odd to me at the time because it was barely 48 hours since we experienced them . None the less I cave in gave him the tape and didn't think anything of it .

A few days later I'm visiting Stu , when I walk into the house , Stu starts smiling . Then he start doggie style humping the air while humming the opening riff to the Deftones song “root”.
“what the fuck!?” I said with a puzzle look
“dude we saw what you had on the tape after the road trip footage....”, Stu said while laughing
“oh, shit!” , I replied
“yea dude , Charlie was watching it at his house in the living . He step away for awhile , when the Richmond stuff ended , up pops a scene of you fucking a chick doggie style while the Deftones was blaring in the background “
“Jesus Christ! “, I said .
Then Stu added the icing on the Cake “yeah , that when his mother and sister walked in the house , and saw it too”
“WHAT THE FUCK!” , I screamed .
Stu couldn't stop laughing , I was embarrassed beyond belief. But then when I finally saw Chunktown he Added the final blow .
“yea dude , when my mom saw said you have an impressive cock but not as big as my step father's”(yes his mother is married to a black man ).
it only took one trip to bring closer to the dudes I would consider brothers and one foolish action and a video to crush my ego and my myth .
I dedicate this story to the loving memory of Lida “mama” Campbell and Ian Campbell …......  

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