Thursday, January 10, 2013

MY RULES MY WAY ..........

Everyone has a code that they live by, and of their have their own set laws that they have set of themselves . Some people have to read self help books to identify these codes and rules , other just let life be the teacher, through trial and error we learn things that work and things that fail us. I have set my own rules and laws and which I live by , most was by the same model of trial and error and sometimes by just taking the time and noticing the irony of life itself...........


  • When going out a date , club or bar , never set the the bar too high , stay mediocre. Just have fun , meet new people or someone new . If you manage to hook up or laid it was a bonus , if not , then you don't go home depressed or angry . it all about the moment and memories.
  • The uglier the women , the better the blowjob , the hotter the women the better her vagina taste, yep it irony rearing it ugly head (no pun , intended)
  • for the ladies if a man hasn't at least try to fuck where he sleeps , then most likely he's married or has a girlfriend and you're a side piece .
  • For the fellas grannie panties on a date = no sex , or it just her time of the month , either way you going to have blue balls
  • women who act slutty in public usually are a bad lay, but the quite shy women will most like be down for anything (sometimes too much for you to handle )
  • pimps up , ho's down , bro's before ho's , but a chick will kill her BFF for a good piece of dick .
  • When picking a women on physical looks , know what in your league , never they to go for the high maintenance chick , unless you can bankroll her needs , never try to date to date a stripper because her issues far succeeds your ability to be her therapist or her makeshift daddy .
  • Two in the pink , one in the stink , just use lube first.
  • For the ladies , porn isn't bad for your man to watch , we know your not going to do some DP action, maybe anal , if we're lucky girl on girl . Just look at porn like self help for the sexually impaired.
  • For the fellas ladies can be freakier that you think , if you really wanna know  all you have to is asked , but time it right , don't asked her about anal while you're trying to shove your cock in her ass while having sex, and no, asking the anal sex question is a bad idea during a romantic dinner is not a good look . time it around a chick flick she's making you watch .
  • It helps to have a skill that women think is sexy, cooking is good start, know how to mix drinks is better , having the ability to get a 40+ kills on call of duty isn't impressive , unless she a huge gaming geek as well , which we all know is about as common as the Republicans admitting their love for Obama ,
  • never and I mean NEVER ask a women about her sexually history, or how many partners she has had , you will never get a truly correct answer , and the math formula is too complex (her number X 3/ by actual boyfriends+ 3 guys outside her race X drunken hooks ups) just be happy she's fucking you. Ladies this goes double for you too, because men will tell you the truth and the number is going to be too much for you deal with, plus our math formula is easy (his actual number +5 / 4 for blowjobs but not actual sex)
  • when going to a swingers party or club bring your OWN toys , condoms , and drinks. And sometimes your own women (it depends on how open minded she is ).
  • always tell smart women their sexy and sexy women their smart .
  • Always remind your women how sexy she is especially when you buy her something slutty for Fredrick’s of Hollywood.
  • Fellas when you meet a women online and decide give her a different picture of yourself please don't make it a pic of your cock.
  • Also if you trying to hook with a chick online , please DO NOT USED THE FOLLOWING LINES: “hey ma , wanna fuck?”, “so when can I hit that “ , “ do you sick dick” or the all time favorite, “you're sexy as fuck , can it eat you out , then take you out to dinner “ . believe being friends with a a lot of women I hear them complain about all the horrible come lines that they have to endure , but also ladies you all should get together and find out what cumdumpster fell for these lines and kick her ass , because all it took was one dumb insecure chick to cave in and let him think has smooth with those lines .
  • When out of normal lube , cooking oil is the best substitute(the story on this is coming soon...) , just a messy clean up .
  • Booty calls should be set-up 24 hrs in advance if they're on the top of your list , for the bottom tier , it when ever your 1st ,2nd ,and 3rd picks have bailed on you , think for them as the break glass pussy …....everybody needs a fail safe plan.
  • Never be afraid to date outside your race, or body type. Sometimes you can find love in the most unlikely places .
  • Drunken sex is fun, but it only fun if BOTH parties are drunk.
  • Never date two women at the same time , while living in the same household .(trust me there was a reason why the 3 wives in Big Love had their own homes...)
  • fellas never asked women a to rate your sexually skills on a scale of 1 to 10, because you'll never score a 10 , that score belongs to her vibrator.
  • International women rules: British give give sloppy blowjobs, French chicks are the masters of blowjobs , German women are out to kill men with their vaginas lol.
  • I take the ugly truth over a beautiful lie any day of the week .

My list is always growing, and changing , because life itself is a ever ending learning processed.some people might have already figured this out , and some people might have learn something new . I'm not saying try my way of living life , these rules work for me , and result can vary , so if you they to live by rules and codes and fail , well don't blame me .  

Monday, January 7, 2013


There's seems to be a Hall of Fame for almost every activity that humans can engage themselves into . Art, music, sports , etc. I think the purpose for this is to to show the average person that some one out there has done some greatest feats and task , and they also embodied the human spirit . I feel that I have a Hall of Fame of my own , it compiled of women . Women who had show me that not all women are cut from the cloth . Their sex appeal and style makes them stand out , plus having some great physical attributes ( i.e. a phat ass or nice big tits or a mixture of both).

Some of the women I might have had a one night stand with , some I had a short but long term relationships with . In one way or another all left a impression on me both mentally and physically . A few of them I'm still very good friends with till this very day and some have faded in memory or my own personal folklore. This going to the first time I’m adding ACTUAL pictures of the women in these stories and yes they are real , no fellas I'm going to hook you up with them , I had to put in the foot work to get them , and you can too ( if you're their type or if they are single....) . This is my hall of fame , each one of this ladies have a special place in my heart , and have left a wet spot in my bed (to put it lightly) .

Jagerbomb stories , part 1

hall of fame inductee 
One of my favorite drinks is the jagerbomb, for those of you who never had this drink , it when you mix red bull and jager together . I know the Germans must haven taken the lost in WWII in good spirit because they made one hell of a liquor with Jagermeister. It one night and a crazy booty call to make this drink shoot to the top of my all time favorite list of drinks .

I was living back in NYC in 2008 , and I been talking to this cute dark skin latina woman , I think I meet her on tagged , or one of those social media sites . I had her cell number and talk to her about meeting up . She finally agreed to meet that night . She asked me to to brings some drinks over , I asked her what would she like , “E&J brandy” she replied . I was like wow this chick has cheap taste good , I like cheap , because she was sexy , but not like top shelf liquor sexy . She give her address out in Brooklyn around this time I was driving my SUV so I entered the address in my GPS and made my way there. When I arrived to the address I notice it was the project , which would explain her cheap taste in liquor . I know it never good to judge some just because of their financial status but , some project chick have champagne taste , living on EPT money , and some have EPT money and beer taste . Sometimes you just gotta live with what you got , and never inspire for too much greatest .

I call here and asked what was her apartment and she informed it was on the top floor , which can sometime be a bad in the project in NYC , because there might a likely chance Both elevators aren't working and you might have the god awful task of walking 20+ flights of stairs , but on this both elevators worked and they both reeked stale piss.

Once I got to her apartment it was the model what most a chick living in the project living at or below proverty, clothes hanging from makeshift clothes lines ,multiple kids sleeping in a single room, electronics dating back to the 90's and maybe the 80's . I mean I seen worst especially after working for Rent a Center in Charleston , but I came to drink and hopefully fuck , let this be the next man problem, if he wanna marry her and inherited her bastard children in tow and move them out the ghetto , more power to him . My goals are very short term in her case . We made our way to her bedroom , she have a laptop which was a very recent model (don't ask..) . I started pouring us some drinks , talk for a while. We keep drinking and talking for a while , in the meantime she was playing some music off my Zune at the time , when and old school song came one, we both agree we love the song and start dancing in our drunk state . Then it happen towards the end of song we went from dancing to drunken kissing , to on the bed peeling our clothes off . The next thing we're full-on fucking either brains out . It seem we must've fucked on and off all night . I would eventually black out .

I wake freezing because she left the window open and it dead cold winter outside , I got a monster hangover headache , and because I'm naked exposed to the dry cold air my dick looks like the Pillsbury dough boy had given me a handjob. I walk around the room picking up my clothes , used condoms and the wrappers they came in off the floor . That when she wakes up and hugs me from behind and said”damn papi you had squirting last nite !” that when I figured that why the bed was wet , I figured I might have blackout and pissed the bed , or maybe she did it . But I know it wasn't pissed I know that  smell is .

The tall and the restless.....
Since I been tall all my life , it rare for me to date a woman who's over 5'8 , but this story is about the amazonian triple threat that came into my life when I moved to Orlando in 2011, why is she a triple threat you asked? first off she was 5'11, thick and Dominican. I first met her on online booty when I was in NYC in 2008 , but we never hook up . I found myself killing time on the site and found her on my booty call list but I remember her from NYC, so I sent her a quick message with my number and my actual name , in which she contacted me , we talked for a bit and made plans to meet at my house .
On that night she was at family function , and I was just killing time waiting on her, since my new room mate took off for the night all I had to entertain myself was the Xbox 360 and my old friend Mr. jagerbomb. I started pounding shots after shot , I went from buzz to full head on drunk in a matter of an hour . Suddenly there was a strong knock on my door I open the door and there she was , standing there in my door way her hair was down past her shoulders , dark brown highlights and loose curls, big brown eyes accompanied with a set of full lips , her body was curvy , and the push up bra she was wearing presented her breast like a serving tray . The ass is the by product of 300 plus  years for interracial mixing of her ethnic roots , the word prefect is a far cry to what could really be express about it .

We sat in the living room and talk for awhile , I made her a drink , she also explain I lived 5 minutes away from where she was staying. Which was good so if she wanted to leave it was a long drive for her . As we talked some more it became clear she was into me, we started kissing . First it was passionate , then it turn violent , not in the felony kind of way , but in the way when two people in the most stronest moment of lust can do to two people when loaded on jager would do .

Then we decide to make our way to my room, she was wear this nice black and leopard print dress that was strapless . I was shaken with excitement as I unzipped her dress , it just seem that the 10 seconds of getting her out of that fucking dress was too long for me to bare. The sex was a mixture of a wrestling match and a S&M session which there was no safe words to be used . It was match of around the bed in 20 karma sutra positions. This when I knew that jager-bombs became my best -friend turn worst enemy .

I came a few times that night but I couldn't lose my erection , and to make matters worst as time went on I notice that my dick had become numb because of the jager I've consume ,mix with the red bull it give me energy , a lot of energy . In my drunken mind I was climaxing but I wasn't fucking fast and hard enough . So I when faster and harder . Changing my angles for how I pounded my dick in her  pussy , legs on my shoulders , one leg , no legs , dogstyle , cowgirl and reserve cowgirl, hitting for the side , from the side with one leg in the air , both legs closed , the more I tired to find the right position to make myself come , the more she enjoyed it , because I was paying attention time I didn't notice that we was fucking THE WHOLE DAMN NITE! I haven't done that type of fucking since I was in my late 20's . I mean you might get one or two hours out of me , but the whole damn nite , I was even more impressed with myself since I never knew I still had that kind of stamina in me . We finally went to sleep , she woke up before me and stealthy made her home , no letter, no good bye kiss , just odor of sex in my room . We ended up hooking up again after that for a few months , but she always brings up that nite as the best of sex she had with me . Fuck, sometimes I set the bar too high for even myself to reach .

An onion name Blaze

I've had a lot of women come and go out of my life  , but then there are those few I can't and won't get rid of . No matter how far away we move from them, or what relationships we have going on, we always keep our bond strong , and Blaze is one of those women . We started out as friends , basically two lost souls in Charleston trying to gasp the pieces of lives in a broken city of hollow American dreams . The way we meet is a bit complex to explain , so I'll spare the details , but I will say I became her much needed and trusted friend when she barely had anyone to lean on . Most of the time I just hang out with her laid on her bed and talk and we both split out our problem to each other , this was our therapy . Even though there was a lot of sexual tension between us we just never seem to act out on it .

There's always a defining moment in a friendship when it between two platonic friends , either you bury your passion and sexual feelings for each other , or you break the emotion levee , with an oncoming wave of lust and passion , and sometimes leaving in it wake either one or the two outcomes. Either it will become a complete and total destruction of a once great friendship that will never fully recover , or it will give new birth to a love affair that could stand the test of time itself . Blaze and I finally gave way to almost three years of tension , we express over feeling for each and she wanted to come spend the night with me at my house . Now at this time I was living with my friend Cecil , I just moved back to Charleston and was completely single since me and the mother of my children finally decided to call it quits in over relationship, but I was still a bit broken , and somewhat bitter , but I pressed on and  had a few quick flings that sort of failed me and was bit worried that this could also back fire in the same fashion, but I was to learn later on that some bonds are too great to be broken .

So the day came when Blaze was going to chill at my house that nite , I picked her up from work and took to her house where she grab and overnight bag . When we arrived my house Cecil was there , when she walked though the house , his eyes locked on her ass ,now here's the thing about Cecil we have the taste in women , which is very rare for a white guy in Charleston, added this and the fact that in our circle of friends he was also know as the “rebounder” because when ever one of our buddies would break up with his girlfriend, Cecil would pick her up on the rebound, hint forth the nickname , but this never happen with any of my ex's or flings (that I know of to date...) because they for most reason though he was creepy in a “i might need a restraining order “ kinda way . He had good reason to stare because blaze was pear shaped . With a nice set of double D breast , and a hips and ass that usually found on a black women or a Latino Woman . If there was any physical feature about Blaze that took some getting used to it was her hair. When I first met her, she was sporting this Chelsea hair cut which was the official punk rock/riot girl/nazi skinhead chick haircut, really I almost thought she was a lesbian when I first saw her , but after a while I used to it and even learn to like because it fit her face very well . She took a shower and walked around the house in a tank top and shorts , I was laying down in my room waiting on her watching tv , when she laid next to me . We talked and cuddled , started kissing and begin some foreplay , when I got her naked and inserted my dick , it was like a perfect fit, no really , my cock fit inside her vagina like a snug glove. It was also like there vagina was tell my cock ,”I've been waiting for you for soon , you should've been here along “ till this day I never had this happen to me . So when I flip her over to hit it from the back I nice here tattoo in the “tramp stamp” area that reads JAMES' ASS , she told me it was her ex-boyfriend whom she was very much in love with when she was younger , and I believe her , because we all done stupid things all in name the of love , but I have some bad news for you James I'm not returning your”lost “ property. finders keepers losers weeps with blue balls ….....

St. Petersburg is GREAT!

so was worth the trip !
Sometimes timing is everything , I learn this over the years that you can't never rush a good thing . You must have faith and patience. This hold true especially with women . If they got time for you , get in . That what I learn when I was Florida , there was a lot of women that manage to date because of timing , and patience . When I first moved to Orlando I found myself isolated and alone , I hardy knew anyone , let alone knew  my way around the city . For the first two weeks I found myself venturing no farther that the dunken dounuts about 2 miles down the road from where I was staying . I hung out there for two reasons: 1, the place I was staying had no internet connect, and I didn't have a smart phone so I needed to have contact with outside world other than my phone. 2. there's was a smoke hot thick who worked there that I was trying to holla at , but I only said three words to her most of that week so I was failing in that task .

Up to that moment I met a few people here and there but nothing going in a positive direction, so I try to see who I can hook up with on online booty call .com . I hit up this one cute women on there we talked once but I wasn't nowhere near St. Pete. I was still living in Charleston, and she kept asking to re locate to the Tampa Bay Area so we can get to know each other better . Well since I was transferred by job to Orlando , I knew this would be the right time.

I hit her up online informing her that I was in Orlando , then she invited over to come visit her , and that she rented out a hotel room that weekend and was going out . I was down for that plan , just one small problem. Well I haven't worked in two weeks and my small savings was almost gone , li was down to my last $50 and was to start working on the Monday coming up, I informed of this problem , and she told to still come and she'll take good of me , well I was eager to meet her and I threw caution into the but $ 25 in my P.O.S van and headed out there to see her . Now I never been to St.pete , and there was doubt circling my head like “what if she's a serial killer , and I'm going to be her forth victim”, or “what if she,' like i'm a pre-op tranny , now suck my cock or you're going to stuck here for while'” yes there was a lot of crazy shit in my head , I got to the Best Western near Clearwater. Call her and told here I was outside she came running out in a sexy blue dress and she was hot . I couldn't believe my luck ,(and the fact she didn't have a cock) . She was warm, funny , sexy , and a latina . When decided to hang out and go swimming for a bit , before we hit the bars . Chilling out in the hot Jacuzzi, or swim in the cold pool I can tell she was all about life and engaging all the pleasures it had to offer , I and was so ready to make that trip with her .

We went back up stairs , showered and got dress . Got in her car , and she drove over to a friends house who was going to join us , the plans was go to a Jamaican/reggae club then few other bars in area , as soon as we got to the reggae spot , I fell the eyes of men there zeroing in on me with hatred , here I'm a newcomer in the club with two super hot chicks . It was as if the hater aide was in the air like mustard gas, but thankfully the club was lame and there wasn't a lot of people there , so we went to another club that was a bit more popular but I was a bit under dress for their dress codes, so this place was out of the question. Her friend wanted to go home , so started to head in that direction , then the front driver side tire caught a flat , since I worked at a wheel and tire shop I knew how to change a tire very fast , 10 sweaty minutes later the spare was on and we was back on our path . We dropped her off , and said our good nights . Then she took to me another another with was like most of the local redneck bars I visited in North Charleston. Poor dress white trash people . Check. Pool cues being used as weapons later . Check. One token black guy , ready to sing Pantrea on karaoke and bring the house down . Check and double check. Yeah I sung pantrea so good I shouldn't keep the free jagerbomb shots away . So the bar was closing and the jagerbombs was making me horny ,so we went back to the motel and had friendly violent fun sex .

We woke up the next morning sightly hungover , and hungry . We went to a tire shop to find her used tire for her car and then went to get something to eat at diner , then it started to pour rain like it always does in central Florida in the fall , but it was for an hour the sun came out and she had the idea to go the beach . We stop at a gas station , pick up a cooler and a six pack of beer . Then made our way to Clearwater beach, which I would say it lives up to is name , the water crystal blue and clear , and sand was white . Beautiful women sun bathing in thongs . It was good day I finally felt like I have arrived in Florida. The day ended a on great note and I had to head back Orlando for my first day of work at the new store . On my way back my van broke down and was to never start again. Look back and think that van cost me $800 bucks and after that weekend I got, every dollar worth out if .