Monday, January 31, 2011

my cheating heart............

The age old question has always been why men cheat. People have done studies, written books, and fucking television shows on it. Well, I’m not a social science major   or anything near such an expert, by I do know why I did it. The reason on why i cheated was simple, pussy. Most importantly; new pussy. I think I suffer from A.D.D in every facets of my life. Everything I did was only interesting for only a short period of time, and then the thrill was gone. I needed something new to occupy my time. Since sex was the one thing  that never got old too me , just the women I was having sex with did .believe me I met and slept with some interesting  women through  the years  and for what it worth it was great .still the greatest challenge for me in my love is going the distance in a relationship. Getting the girl was the easy part, staying fateful and loyal was the hardest part for me. I knew cheating was bad, I knew it would hurt the one I love but I just couldn’t help myself .For me this habit was more psychological then just a man who couldn’t control his impulses, the smalls things about a woman that I thought was sexy I would use it as a reason for me to fuck her, like the time when I was at the Plex in North Charleston, and there was a sexy redhead, she was 5’2, plump, and had an BIG ASS!  This was still around the time when butt cleavage was still in fashion. She was wearing a hot red lace thong (and I’m a sucker for women who wear sluttly underwear!)  A pair of low raised blue jeans and a cute halter top. All I could think about when I first saw her  was “I wonder what’s she like in the bed, is she a screamer, a moaner , a biter, maybe a squirter . Does she swallow or spits. Mmmm I’ll just have to find out the hard way. Yea it was safe to say I fucked her that night, and many more nights after. That was until the night I left my phone at my baby momma’s house and she read a few racy texts from her and that sealed my fate.

Most of my troubles in this department always starts with me trying to get a little more than what I have at home, but most of the time the main reason is the thrill of the hunt. I know it sounds fucked up , but the real thrill for me wasn’t the new pussy . It was the feeling to stalking, chasing , and bagging my prey .A lot of times I would just go into a bar , or a nightclub , walk around the room a times before I going for the kill , you know like how a loin seek the weakness animal in the heard , this works about the same way.
Now ladies, there is tell-tell sign you give off to men like me that you are in the “other “woman department. Hers a small list:
One.  You just got out of a bad relationship and you been out so long you don’t realize how much of date field has change since the last you were single.
Two. Mostly too much going on in your life (i.e. being a still parent, working full time, going school...etc)
Three: sometimes wanting too much too fast, being co-depended is working against you. For a guy like me this is too easy, I used to say the thing they wanted to hear, Ease their fears and go for the kill, before she knew what happen I was already on to the next victim. 

           Yes women when it comes to getting “played” you can be you own worst enemy. It mostly about numbers, since woman outnumber men 2 to 1 on the planet this is how the ball rolls.
I know you think I’m a pig at the moment for mention this, but remember there is a silver lining to this. Remember ladies you hold the biggest cards, and yet you never play them right . That right you hold the PUSSY! That the main goal for most of the players, macks , pimp, and assholes name Damond is hunting for . Even though most of the time, most of you ladies with bet small with your pussies and bet big with your hearts. With that being the dumbest move you could make. Trust me. Men know it just a matter of time before you’ll cave in and give it up, so why keep playing the game. Well here’s why .no matter how long you make a man wait for the sex , he’ll keep playing this game , but keep in mind while this is going there are others out who’s giving it up to him , as he grows bored with them , his interest in you is increasing , but only for a simple reason . You have become his Moby dick , bigfoot , the myth that is escape him .you can use this to your advantage .You can get him to either respected you more or walk away and have him  find some other low self esteem stank to fuck with. I should know I fell victim to this trap many of time and can’t say it wasn’t fun .but for men like me there’s always a way around any problem.

Which this brings me to a small story, at the time; when I was the biggest slut in my relationship. also in my first real relationship. Meaning that we lived together and I had to be crafty about my screwing round .her name was Shirley she was a psyche major at the collage of Charleston at the time. I met at the same place where I met was going to met the future mother of my children at .Level 2.
          We fooled around on the date floor and flirted with each. Around this time there was a hurricane that came through Charleston most of collage in the empty moved most of students up state only a small handful of them stayed in town, she was one of those few. And I was house sitting that week for my friend K.Hopp who went down to Florida to do a D.J. gig down there , which was cool for me since I was living in the north area , and having a spot downtown to crash was a sweet idea  and made my exploits easy . Well I and Shirley exchange words and then she invited me over to house. She gave me the address which was a townhouse on coming street, but I was a drunk at the time and didn’t know how short term my memory was. When I got to the street when she lived on I forget the house number all I could remember was the apartment number .so I figured since there was only two on each side of the street a process of elimination would best . That what a drunken mind would get to think at 3A.M. which I would later find out was a horrible idea. I ended up knocking on the wrong door, which the home belong to an very old white woman, who panic and call the police, before I figured out what was the right apartment I was surrounded at gun point by 3 of Charleston finest .After a fail effort of trying to tell them my story I found my being driven back to North Charleston. So a few days later I finally figured out where she lived, and maybe my way back downtown. During the course of the evening we talked and laugh , then we made our way to her bedroom where a condom was waiting on the bed to be put to proper used .
After that night we started spending more and more time together,. Before I knew it I was in a relationship, a real one. We were living together. I was working; she was going to school and working. And between all of that I was partying, and screwing around here back at any given moment that I had free.
         It was like I had multi-life going on , there was my home life and then my street life , and my sex life , where I could remember having up to six women I was sleeping with at the same time . I really had it down to a science and I got bolder about it. I could remember having two ladies I was screwing with at the time around the corner from each other. The only reason  I wasn’t caught was because my aunt’s townhouse at the time was on the same street of one the ladies, so my aunt was my unwilling alibi. most of time I saw most of these women I kept my time short and always used a lame excuse to after we had sex so I can make my way over to the next woman. While all of this was going my dear Shirley had no idea how much of a dirty slutty dog I was. 
During this timeline I had a new look and a cool swagger going for myself. Where I had my hair dyed blonde, and I also was working at an Adult video store called big Jim’s (a.k.a video plus). Since I was also hanging out at most of the strips clubs and another club called plum crazy it seem the town was mine for the taking. And why not, the store afforded the opportunity to watch porn all night all, and cool horny slutty women willing to do sexual favors for a discount for goods in the store. And I could have my friends or any ladies come over and hang out with me to kill the boredom of working 3rd shift. Once again while all of this was going my girlfriend didn’t know about my side action.

               There is a time when you get bored with life, even when things are going good. For me I was getting burn out with the whole sneaking around , so in order to feel the rush I had to push my fucking around to the edge and get bolder about who I was fucking , and where I fucked them . Shirley and I first apartment was a two bedroom flat which the smaller room serve as our guess room. We had many of friends and family that stayed in that room , but there was one guess we had staying over that I was going to push myself and most likely my relationship to the edge , she was one of my friends who was couch hopping from friend’s to friend’s house. She was also known to be a bit of slut too, but she was hot. Really usually not the type of chick I go for. She was about 5'3 145 lbs, and had a perfect set of double d tits.  We first hooked up when Shirley was out of town visiting her parent , who lived closer to the North Carolina border , it was just a matter of time before she was going to need a place to stay .I know what you thinking how this women ended up staying at my house with my girlfriend not raising hell about it . Well here’s how. I build up her image in my girlfriend’s eyes as a platonic friend , someone I was never going to stick my dick  into , and since she met about 4 or 5 female friends who was in this class to , she couldn’t  tell friend from foe .
                On this fateful morning I just finish working 3rd shift at the video store , and Shirley was in class for the morning , and my sexy little house guess was in the room sleeping . I was in the mood for a morning quickie before I took a nap later on that day. I walked in the room, starting fooling around with her, pulled off her thongs, flip her belly. And was fucking doggie style, right when I came I heard a sound of a car door closed. It was Shirley. I had about less than 2 minutes to get my cock out of this chick’s pussy and descent to the living room and pass it off like that nothing didn't happen. The heart was race as well my feet. This softly sprinted out the room to the living room. Where the TV was on, and I play off like I was there the whole time.  She walked in the saw me lying where I gave her my best Oscar worthy performance. She brought it hook, line, and sinker. 
Best was yet to come in over relationship. And cheating has become such a way of life to it was becoming easy as breathing. I want out of this hell I was putting myself through. With that came an idea, not the best one but one that I figured would free me and she’ll have no choice but to leave me. I was fooling around with stripper name peaches. Peaches was short curvy chick, didn’t have much in the breast department, but she did have a thick ass. The other thing I found sexy on her was here tramp stamp tattoo that read” DADDY’S LIL GIRL”.  One would think that a girl with a tattoo like that isn’t repressing any hidden daddy issues, right? Wrong, very dead wrong. The first time I fucked her, and she called me “DADDY!” it wasn’t sexy, because  it wasn’t like a sexy grown ass woman voice, it was like a baby, or childish voice. Every time she said that I felt like a pedophile, which isn’t hot at all.
Well I was seeing peaches going to her house and staying there till 6 a.m. with Shirley’s car no less. More and more this went on the felt like something gotta give. Either Shirley has to see for the scumbag I became or peaches will.
        Most of the time if any of my ladies want to get in  touch with they had to hit me up on my pager, I never gave them a direct line of contact with me., but I broke this rule with peaches. I gave her the house number and never told her when a good time to call was. On this fateful night Shirley was going to go out and I was going to chill my cousin at the house. So when I thought she left out the apartment I jumped on the phone with peaches. Much to my surprise she didn’t leave and she heard the conversation on the line. She kicked in the guest room door and screamed
And peaches heard her though the phone and said” IS THAT YOUR BITCH I’M COMING OVER TO KICK HER ASS!!!!!!!!”
In my sick twisted mind I was thinking “this going better that I planned I get to kill two birds with one stone, sweet!”
But no peaches didn’t come over and Shirley didn’t break up me with on the spot, but we did have the “talk”.
Within that talk the revelations begin to spill out. We were drinking talking calmly, and she asked me. “How many times did you cheat on me?”
“You first  ...” I said.
I was just trying to buy myself sometime and maybe shift some of the guilt.
“3 times with the same person, you knew about that guy.” she informed me
“Now you ....”  She said
“ mmm I can I have some of you wine I’m out .” I said taking the glass away from her hand .
“26...” and I took a sip of the wine, fearing that she could use it as a weapon later on.
“26 times with the same person?” Said Shirley with a heavy voice.
“no 26 diffident women ...” as took another quick slip from the glass .
“WHAT, YOU FUCKING SLUT!”  She shouted.
“Who, who were they?” she demanded.
         I only told about the few she knew by face and name, the rest I with held. Not because I wanted to protect them.Just because it was pointless most of them we’re meaningless to me anyway. She didn’t know them and still till this day wouldn’t know who they were even if met out in the street unless my name surfaced in a conversation (which she told me this have happen a few times). Still she didn’t leave for the next few months our relationship became more dysfunctional. We ventured into an open relationship I guess she figured if you can’t beat em’, then play their game too. This was met with mix success, since I was still out whoring around this work in my favor. Since she was getting herself some strange dick while I was out fooling around I didn’t have to feel any guilt. In closing of this tale, me and Shirley broke up, it was for the best .it was a lesson learn for the both of us, but I still think we’re trying to figure out just what we have learned.
Now ladies I hope you took in some cues from this tale because there was tell - tell signs that all men do when they cheating on you   or you’re being used as the other women or both . Here’s a few.......:
You can’t show up at his home, work or one of his homeboy’s house without checking with him first.
Your contact with him is limited (such as short talk time , he’s comes over your house for a quick” nut”, or there’s only a certain time of the day when you can call him).
Beware of female “friends” some are just friends , but is the bitch he’s fucking and she knows who you are,and will be  waiting for you to either dump him or him to dump you, or cause enough drama to make both of these things to happen . The only thing  was that I was good at was playing a shell game of 
having a bunch of female friends I wasn’t fucking , but there was at least one I was screwing and she knew I had a girlfriend .
Time is the enemy to a man that is screwing around, so if there’s a lot nights that he doesn’t come home till after 6 a.m. well I got some bad news for you. There isn’t any bar or open past 5 am. Unless you lived in NYC then this rule is void.
The biggest one is what I like to call the “fall guy”. Most single men have their “wingman” the one guy , who going to take one for the team when they go out this dude is the guy who get the “ugly” friend so his buddy can score the hotter one. This position gets  boosted to the “fall guy “ this dude is the false alibi for the man who creeps around , he has a name and a face , but he doesn’t  hang out with your man that much (unless your man is on the down low , and if that the case good luck figuring that out. Cause I got nothing for you on that.)
Most of my “fall guys” had be a friend that my girlfriend might’ve only met once or never seen but hear me talked of them.
And last but not least you need to see at least one time where he lays his head at, if you never been to his house then more than likely he has a woman in his life and no  it isn't his mother .
Well ladies this you story for today. But don’t worry fellas I got ya’ll back on the next one trust me ........

Thursday, January 13, 2011

of men and virgins .............

As you can read so far that I enjoy the company of a woman, but theirs is one type of woman I don’t enjoy,  . . . VIRGINS! I never enjoyed the fact knowing I was some poor girl’s first sexual encounter , yes I’m a sadist at times but never consider myself as the beginner’s fuck , really this is not the fucking bunny hill , I like to consider myself as the black diamond of  fucking . I’m too freaky , too rough sometimes and can be a bit too open minded for a virgin. I’ve had a few virgins offer their virginity to me and I had respectfully turn it down , I’ve instructed them to sleep with 5-to-7 guys first then hit me up  , because only then will they be really for what  I can do for them , but I did have two young ladies slip through the cracks and I found myself being the person deflowering them of their virginity and then afterwards I felt like a rape victim , I felt dirty ,defiled , and devoid of emotion.
I myself ,like my women experience in the verse of sex , I don’t need to give them a GPS or mapquest direction on screwing me (maybe that why I have a thing for slutter women).another thing is that I never been one to brag about my penis size , matter if fact I’m quite humble about it , but I’m not on the receiving end of it so I have to say only what I been told about it , that I’m thick and have the perfect length with a slight curve to it, so to put it safe I’m not a small dick man , and I’m not suited for virgins .
I had the displeasure of deflowering six virgins in my lifetime , I still feel like it nothing special , I mean really extreme fundamental Muslims terrorist  are killing themselves  for a lifetime in heaven with 42 virgins, I would gladly  trade a place in hell with 42 former pornstars that did gangbangs . Out of those vile six only two are really worth talking about here .
The first one was ne-ne she was a cute natural redhead , with a nice set of hips and a great pair of triple d’s breast, around this time I was working at hot topic at Northwoods mall in North Charleston and had dreamed going postal there a few times since I took up the job , I really didn’t find it rewarding or hip , but to the rest of  the staff there ,they looked at it like a dream job , and what pseudo-goth/punk/metal-head/ kid wouldn’t , here was a store that would let them keep their image and pay them to look that way all day long , yes I was in hell , to makes things worst even ,every scum -sucking mall rat high schooler  started looking up to me like I was some kind of demi-god, at 25 this was the closest thing to career suicide I could commit , the only thing lower then this job was , a fluffer on a gay porn set or a jizz washer at an adult book store and I'm sure those jobs had perks this one didn't. I was only working this job so I could spend time on my music I was working  on with my hardcore metal band at the time hostile intent, so one day ne-ne and her gay male friend come into the store , looking around and trying on some cloths so I started to talk to both of them , trying to get them to buy a few thing , but unknowingly in this process I was flirting with both of them (or so she told me later on......) , at the time I was wearing on of band t shirts when she asked me about the shirt , I told her about my band and that we had a gig next week at cumberlands downtown , I gave her the date and time , she promise to come out and show her support.
On the night of the gig my mother and aunt was visiting town from New York ,and since my mother have never seen me perform I figured this was going to be a great bonding moment for us , but much to my surprise she ended up bring few more family members than I figured . I was still very nervous about this show because this is a hardcore show , and my mother doesn’t know how these things goes down , you know , young white men , moshing , slamming into each other, sage driving , swing punches and kicks , to an average black person this is chaos on the new level , but on the other hand I did have a few friends there who promise to look after them and treat them like their own family members ,
we was the last band to go on sage there was a small crowd there mostly our fiends and my family members , but as we hit the sage , ne-ne and her small group of friends including the gay dude .I’ve always been a ball of nerves before I do anything publicly and playing live has always been hard for me , so I had my drummer slap the shit out of me to get my blood pumping and ease my fears , so as we start our performance , I was feeling good , and the crowd was going ape-shit , my buddy was buying my mother and my aunt beers and every now and then. I glace at ne-ne and she had this “I’M GOING TO FUCK YOU “ look in her eyes . We ended our set I walked over to my mom and asked her about her input about the show , she gave me a good review , then ne-ne walk over I asked what did she thought of the show , then she with her eyes wide open “you was so hot I almost cream my paints watching you !” I smile and then said “ oh, this is my mother ......” , yea it safe to say she begin to blush after that , so after we pack up our gear I took a walk with ne-ne and her friends down to waterfront park , we talk and walk around and then she told me about the small bet her and here gay had , the bet was who was going to hook up with me ! Well it was safe to say that it wasn’t going to the gay friend , since I’m straight she won this bet from the start . We made out a little and plan to meet up again later on that week .
So next week we met up again , when to see a movie and then took a trip down to Folly Beach that night , where we drove to the east side of the island by the light and took so blankets , where was stated started to make out more, the more we kiss , the move our cloths was being removed , before we knew it , we’re both are naked , I on top of her, kissing on her neck and rubbing my penis on clit , and right before I insert my dick into her pussy , I whisper ,”damn this is a great way to end the night “ and then she return with the shocker line of the night “oh yes this is the way I imagine my first time ,.......”WHAT? As I though to myself , she’s a virgin? No fucking way ?hell no....but yes she was . Well just to let my female readers know I was already past the point of no return , my rock hard cock was already centimeters away for her vagina, and for me blue balls isn’t an option ( well maybe if she offer an blowjob ) , so yea I fucked her , I took her virginity, I know it sound like a classic male ego asshole quote , but she was asking for it ...........
 The second virgin was someone  I met though my gigs with other bands, she was dark haired , fair skin , and a bit curvy at the time also , but she was also one of those good Christian types too , who I would find out later on had a very dark and naughty side too also , On this night I was at at level 2 hanging out dancing I was in complete man whore phase , I ran into her and her best friend at the who used to date this dude who was in a band that my band used to share a few gigs the night ended and her girlfriend was wanting on her to come talk to her before she was going to leave since he was working as a bouncer at this club , so me and Winnie was talking my band and the music we was doing those days , and that when try invited me over to her girlfriends house , who just happen to stay down the street from my aunts place where I was crashing at the time .So I followed them to her place and made my way into the town the townhouse , it was very funny because I was currently screwing about 5 different women with a five mile radius of each other, and two of them were ex-girlfriends , so we was hanging out in the living room talking having a couple of extra drinks , that when her girlfriends man made it over there , so we talked some more , and then they  made their way upstairs to her room, leaving me and Winnie downstairs to ourselves , we immediately started kissing , and petting each other , that when she started to attempt to give me a handjob , which I can tell she was new to this because she wasn’t really doing it right , well at least to my own liking ,so I found myself giving her a small sex lesson , so then I got her naked and as I tried to insert my cock into her she stop me and asked with a serious voice ,”when was the last time you was tested for any STD’s or HIV “ I said “ about 3 months ago ......I’m clean “ which was true  cause I have a close family member who has full blown AIDS and I don’t ever want experience that, so I made it my mission to get tested every 6 months . With that being said , I being to go back to my mission of trying to insert my penis into her pussy and was finding it a bit tight , very tight , I never have this problem before , I mean there’s been a few tight squeezers but this time I throught I miss her vag and was trying to fuck her in the butt , “damn you’re very tight !” I said , and said reply with the hot line of “ I know it my first time “ FUCK !NOT AGAIN , THIS IS TWICE IN ONE YEAR HOW UNLUCKY COULD ONE GUY BE “,once again I found myself beyond the threshold , if she told be this like hours , days or weeks ago I would’ve never tried to fuck her. But dammit , once again I refuse to get blue balls . Unlike ne-ne where we fooled around for a few more months after I took virginity , me and Winnie fooled around on and off for years , and the more I fucked around with  her it seems she show more of a slutty , hot , dark side to herself . Shortly before I wrote this post she asked me my if I was going to post a story about us on my blog , and if I never used her real name , which I assured I wouldn’t and I also told that I wasn’t going to write a story about us she was special and I want to keep our time together to myself , but this was about a subject matter that I couldn’t avoid without including her in the story .So winnie if you do read this sorry but you know that I do respect our friendship , we were young .

Monday, January 10, 2011

vanilla thick love...........

Fellas , yes you I’m talking to you, that sitting at home on Friday night , getting groomed , trimming those nosed hairs, that beard, picking out the latest hottest fashion , metro sexual , douche-bag, alpha-male dick head , yeah you. Just a small hint sometimes all that shit isn’t going to help in the pussy department , all you need is a special talent to win the girl., and for me that the ability was dancing , yes I know I don’t look like the dancing type , but at one time my claim to fame was being a skillful freestyle dancer in the clubs .Well, for me it started going to raves , yeah the early 90's was the golden age for raves in the southeast , and with Charleston only being 8 hours away from the rave capital of the United States of Orlando florida this had to happen. Shortly before I entered the army I was shown the club life by some friends , and that was the treehouse , this club was ahead of it time in charleston , even for the 90's charleston was still 5 years behind culturally  to other cites , this club had a come as you are attitude , it didn't matter if you was gay , straight , bi, black , white , Latino, Asian, lungfish
you got in the door , the club was in the middle of the action in downtown Charleston , while all those preppie assholes , and yuppie douche bags , party on Market st till 3 a.m. they had the late nite party crowd college. The hardcore member of this scene was the young kids of this counter culture , they we’re punk rockers, metal heads , and neo-hippies ,ultra hipper’s , a new young generation ,raised on Mtv, Run DMC records , Iron maiden poster on the wall ,misfits skulls tattooed into their DNA , the kids that mocked by the jock and was bullied by the so called popular kids. They found a small haven to call their own , for me this was my bliss , I found myself sucked in , there wasn’t any where else I wanted to be,  but to get respect in the tribe you had to move like the tribe and that summer I aim to dance as good, if not better than them .
Back to you guys , here’s a little secret , women find men who dance well sexy because in their minds a man that can move hips and also moves his cock in the same fashion , this when I found my sex life become more ample and fruitful. When the treehouse closed the club for good , I was left spinning looking for a new place to dance I didn’t really know about any other clubs in charleston at the time or any clubs around town that place techo and house music a regular so I was left to wonder the landscape looking for a place to dance .First was level 2 this was located on the market at the it was a 21 and over crowd,and  then they lowered the age to 18 and up that where the fun really started I met a lot of people at this club some of them I’m still friends till this day , this was also the club where I met the mother of daughters at too , huh if it wasn’t for this club , and my desire to not wear a condom at the time with my beautiful daughter would’ve never seen the light of day .At the time their was a lot of beautiful ladies but a lot of hot full figured ones too .
The woman who left the biggest impression on me in a big was JJ , she was a hottie, soft facial features , a bit tall , full thick legs , and a set of ample breast , basically she was build like a black woman , a very thick black woman  ,the kind sister that would make a brotha kill another man for just looking at ass too hard . The detail about her ass are stuff of  legends , back when I first met she was a curvy size 13 but with a size 18 ass . Low raise jeans didn’t stand a chance on hips if they even stayed there long enough , it was as if her ass and her jeans was in battle on body and the ass was winning. At first she was my club buddy , we’ll go out and hang that was about no sex or anything closed to it , but one night that would change .
It was another Friday at level 2 , nothing usual , drinking , dance , me being a complete male slut .JJ love to drink heavily, but just like most women she’s a horrible drunk, falling all over the place. Trying to speak Spanish ( at this time I didn’t know  if she spoke Spanish at the time or was just full of shit ) . What was to happen next is how she ended spending the night with me  at the time , in mix of her booty dancing with guys and pounding down shots , she ended up losing here keys to her car , and since she was my ride home and my car was back my place we was going to have to take a cab home.
When we arrive at my house , it was late and I was living with my cousin and his wife , unlike most weekend nights when there is usually people hanging out drinking and smoking weed , this night was quite and the was empty . We made our way to my bedroom , where she’s started whinnying about how much a fuck up she is and how she was in love with her then boyfriend ( he was in texas, which she made broke one of my all times rules in dating , I never screw a woman who’s in a relationship, just too much drama). So as I started comforting her and trying to put her at ease , the evil little man in my paints started to take control , let me just stay this before this story goes on any more , lust is bitch , a very , big bitch , people can control their natural impulses, you get me in a dark room with a sexy big booty, curvy woman and I don’t have the fortitude to control myself and  with this woman I really didn’t want to, so back to my little tale , as I was hugging her and caressing her I just could stop thinking about how sexy and plump her ass looked in those jeans all night  long, you know the old song , touching becomes hugging, hugging becomes kissing , and kissing have you going down on a very  drunk, crying person in the middle of night , so one I got her naked I really notice how big her ass was , hips was flat but the ass cheeks as popping out on the sides , sort of like a reverse muffin top . All I wanted to do was too feel how it was to be inside her , and once I got there it wasn’t like heaven , but I did know I was going to hell for this
That morning I had to go to work and open the gas station I was working at the time , and was sitting there replaying the whole night in my head again , and then it hit me , like a strong pimp slap , that was wearing brass knuckles , did I just commit a small form of date rape ? I mean, I did leave her naked in my bed that morning , she was half asleep when she told me good morning . OH LORD THIS IS CHARLESTON SOUTH CAROLINA  , AND A WHITE WOMEN SCREAMING RAPE STILL HOLDS A LOT OF WEIGHT HERE , EVEN IF SHE HAS JUNGLE FEVER . With guilt and a possible jail term of 7 to 25 circling my head I begin to worry bit and she called me at work and laid my worries to rest , well sort of . “how are we going to get my car from downtown , and do you remember where I parked.” she said , and I said “ I do remember , but we’ll take care of that when I get off , did you remember what happen last night when you got to my house”, I said
“I think we had sex , right “ she said .
“yes we did “ I replied
“Yeah this have happen to me a few times before , this is how I ended up hooking up with my last boyfriend “, she said
then she informed me “ this won’t happen again , it was just a one night thing “
“Yeah” I said in a disappointing voice. This is going to happen again ...............I was also thinking at the same time .
Once I got home from work my cousin and his wife gave a ride to her car , where the locksmith was waiting to cut her a new set of keys , she called me later on for another outing this time I kept her keys for safe keeping . It was the usual night drinking , dancing , and leaving the club , but this time I invited her back inside , to see if I could score again , and dammit I did , this time she wasn’t too drunk not to remember this fuck .
This went on for months , even though she had a man and I was still being a slut , screwing around most of time with any woman willing to let sleep with them without any headaches . But the more this was happen the most that little thing called guilt started to overcome me , because I was in love with JJ but didn’t know to fully express it at the time , plus my love life was more fuck up than any made for tv drama . It was a simple problem of too many women not enough Damond to go around , and as much as I wanted to be with JJ she was under the impressing that I wasn’t the settle down ( she not the only one of  females in my life to thinks of me ) matter of fact at the time I wasn’t sure if I was even worth trying to tame .Just like all good thing this came to an end , she ended up leaving Charleston and marrying the boyfriend ,becoming a mother of two boys , and also divorcing him too few years , matter of fact she ended up screwing around a times after that, right up to close the time I left Charleston to move to Orlando . She was the 2nd woman I have fallen in love with and still break my heart every time a thought of her flashes my mind , ever since then I’ve always compare all women that I will fall in love to her , because if I ever want to fall in love and commit to them they need to be on her level .

Saturday, January 1, 2011


As a young single male  there should be a small list of sexual rites of passage you should have done before you settle down and get married, first girl -girl three some, a bondage experience, maybe a gangbang , but for me i already had most experiences before i was 25 , and now i was 34 and never been to a swinger party nor let alone a club , let just say that the swing scene is a very tight close knit community , not everyone who wants to fuck a compete stranger can just walk in and do the deed .this little tale  happen around this time i was unemployed and i just wasted the last three years of my life slaving at rent a center as a collection manger ,working 52 hours a week on a 5 day work week wasn't fun and didn't afford me the time to be a full time male whore when i was  let go  i was felt like Mel Gibson's character Sir William Wallace when he cried "FREEDOM!" at the hands of captives to deliver the death blow that ended his suffering . this also happen to be around the time when me and my baby mama  was taken a break from over relationship, this also happen to be around the time that my tax return came in and i was giving my final rent a center paycheck and my 401k that invested at the time which i had a very nice check coming to me to take a long enough break to get my thoughts together for the time being . Since i was living in Charleston South Carolina at the time and was hating every minute of it and had family in the Bronx i felt like i need some time away and need to see some real inner city life.
the internet has brought wonderful things  to our lives in one way or another , like for an example,  if you wanted to shopping for something for your home or clothing , you either had to leave the confinements of your home and walk into a store to purchase something . Now you can just click on to website and buy the things you wanted without slowing the rest of your day and keep looking at all the free porn video's and youtube clips you want., At one time you needed to actually need to take a trip to said destination go out socialize , exchange names  and keep in touch through the phone and letters via the U.S.postal service .Now you got Facebook ,Myspace, mocospace,tagged and other social website that make this possible without even one trip to your "friend's" hometown . and with these social network are the adult ones , Adult  friend finder , fling , and Online booty call .com, which i had a profile on all of these sites and still do. The most popular one i seem to have success with was online booty call .com which back then it was a simple site , 4 pics , your age , location ,sexual preference , was all you need to score your way to the land of random nookie , this was where i meet my two friends who inject me into the swinger scene in NYC/NJ , first there was tee ,she was half Russian/half German cute and thick a nice set of breast and plump ass (very rare for a European woman)  then there was her boyfriend cee ,he was a smaller but cooler version of me ,but was also hung like he was half of  a donkey . When me and tee first met i connected with her in person in the Bronx about a year before this outing   and that when she told me the news that she wasn't single anymore , i was a bit heart broken at first but then she informed that they was swingers and had a bit of an open relationship , so i knew my chances didn't completely flew out the window , so after i gave her a ride home we promise to keep in touch with each other ,which i did for the time being .
Fast forwarding to this fateful nite , i just made in it into NYC this day after driving solo for like 14 hours, took a power nap at my mother's house and proceeded to make calls and IM friends in town to see what fun i could get into , it just happen that tee and cee needed a ride to a few "parties" that nite , since i had the car and they had the connections i knew this was a no lose situation .
I started to get dress threw on a nice dress shirt compete with a silk tie and a sweater vest a, with a pair of blue jeans and a my black loafers , jump into my SUV and made my trip to Brooklyn to pick them up . First stop was the swan motel bar over in Linden New Jersey , this bar was know to be a hang out spot for swinger couples, they'll drink  ,talk and go to theirs room and fuck the night away, but on this nite the bar was sort of dead to my friends' standards . We had a couple more of drinks and proceeded to next location which was a townhouse in Newark ,  first as i step to the house it seem like a normal party , and smelled like one too , the smell of weed  was thick , and the sound of music was louder, but the the sank odor of sex hit my nose when they open the fucking door . Walking into this house party was an eye opener for me since i was never a big fan of house parties due to the fact that i never got lucky at one at far a sex goes and the last i was at i ended up getting into  fight that  ended up with me  bitting this douche-bag ear off . For the first in time in my little perverted like i felt like a fish out of water , i mean i was speak less  i just press against the wall and barely spoke to anyone , until this cute curvy blond comes over and said"why are you still dress " so she drops to her knees and undo my paints and then proceeds to give me what i can stay was a great blowjob , she even massage my ball too with this back massage vibrator.It was safe to say after that i was relax , and moment after that cee introduce to a very sexy black woman, she was soft spoken , had a nice wide ass , and a great Double d size breast . We chatted for about 20 minutes then went into one of the bedrooms , the room was small of course , a small twin size bed with no railing was on the hardwood floor with was littered with empty free NYC condom wrappers , was i removed my cloths she informed that she is a squirter that when i had a 10 dollar jaw breaker hard on , just a woman that squirts is a big turn on for me it like having here vagina tell you that you did good job over and over again ,this woman vag must've been the ol' fatihful of vagina's cuz it wouldn't stop flowing which in hand was working against my stroke and messing with my footing  on the bed when i was trying to hitting from behind doggie style, and when she did cowgirl , it was like I was being water boarded. When i finally came it was glad i was over , this was the first time i had the squirter almost drown me .
After i clean my self off and get dress i made my way back to the master bedroom where everyone was gathered at and notice my two friend was missing ,i figured they must be having fun with another couple or female maybe some lucky bastard, FUCK! i thought to myself my main plan was to try to fuck tee now random asshole is getting what i wanted for the pass 12 months , oh well at least i got laid .......later on they surface and told they was next door and was going to stay the day here , well i wasn't that comfortable with the host of this party and decide to travel back to my mother's house, besides it was already  closed to 6 am , i forget the NYC metro area parties into the dawn and beyond..............


There is an old joke that goes"fat girls are like mopeds , they're only to  fun to ride until you friends see's you on one ......."  , yea i thought it funny too ,when i 15 years old , it seem like to today curvy is the new skinny let's remember that the skinny girl look has only been in fashion for nearly 40 years, if Marilyn Monroe or Jayne Mansfield was superstars today they most likely would have gain their fame  as video vixens in hip hop video's(i know it fucked up but a thick white is the black man's   Kryptonite). Even in the pages of playboy back in days have women in there who was at least a size 10 to 14 . I was raised in a household when skinny girls was mocked and poked at for having no figure ,no ass , and flat breasted and was told they needed to eat. when i look back at my sexual conquests (and believe me they we're alot of them !) most of these we're chubby ,fat, bbw, plump , whatever the fuck you called them ,i just call them women , no matter what , while i never have a racial preference (i do in way have a thing against  Asian women i'll explain that later on.....) .To say my taste in woman started back in my childhood would be a lie , it started more in my late teens with my first real girlfriend in high school , she wasn't the hottest girl in the school or even for that matter not even popular girl, but just she was  willing to date me  let alone to have sex with me . She had beautiful wavy hair  and a HUGH set of tits , i know later on she would be come a mother and have a son ,i only hope she didn't breast fed him because he might have a breast fetish in his adult years , god know i did after dating her,but she was my first big girl and not the last , so a thank you A.S. for opening  the flood gate and winging me a away from a life empty sex with skinny chicks .this is just the beginning in a long list of stories and blogs of the woman i lust , love and longing  for, enjoy the trip it was fun and painful to live it as it was to type it and reliving  it ..........