Everyone has a code that they live by,
and of their have their own set laws that they have set of themselves
. Some people have to read self help books to identify these codes
and rules , other just let life be the teacher, through trial and
error we learn things that work and things that fail us. I have set
my own rules and laws and which I live by , most was by the same
model of trial and error and sometimes by just taking the time and
noticing the irony of life itself...........
DAMOND'S ART OF LIFE AND RULES:
- When going out a date , club or bar , never set the the bar too high , stay mediocre. Just have fun , meet new people or someone new . If you manage to hook up or laid it was a bonus , if not , then you don't go home depressed or angry . it all about the moment and memories.
- The uglier the women , the better the blowjob , the hotter the women the better her vagina taste, yep it irony rearing it ugly head (no pun , intended)
- for the ladies if a man hasn't at least try to fuck where he sleeps , then most likely he's married or has a girlfriend and you're a side piece .
- For the fellas grannie panties on a date = no sex , or it just her time of the month , either way you going to have blue balls
- women who act slutty in public usually are a bad lay, but the quite shy women will most like be down for anything (sometimes too much for you to handle )
- pimps up , ho's down , bro's before ho's , but a chick will kill her BFF for a good piece of dick .
- When picking a women on physical looks , know what in your league , never they to go for the high maintenance chick , unless you can bankroll her needs , never try to date to date a stripper because her issues far succeeds your ability to be her therapist or her makeshift daddy .
- Two in the pink , one in the stink , just use lube first.
- For the ladies , porn isn't bad for your man to watch , we know your not going to do some DP action, maybe anal , if we're lucky girl on girl . Just look at porn like self help for the sexually impaired.
- For the fellas ladies can be freakier that you think , if you really wanna know all you have to is asked , but time it right , don't asked her about anal while you're trying to shove your cock in her ass while having sex, and no, asking the anal sex question is a bad idea during a romantic dinner is not a good look . time it around a chick flick she's making you watch .
- It helps to have a skill that women think is sexy, cooking is good start, know how to mix drinks is better , having the ability to get a 40+ kills on call of duty isn't impressive , unless she a huge gaming geek as well , which we all know is about as common as the Republicans admitting their love for Obama ,
- never and I mean NEVER ask a women about her sexually history, or how many partners she has had , you will never get a truly correct answer , and the math formula is too complex (her number X 3/ by actual boyfriends+ 3 guys outside her race X drunken hooks ups) just be happy she's fucking you. Ladies this goes double for you too, because men will tell you the truth and the number is going to be too much for you deal with, plus our math formula is easy (his actual number +5 / 4 for blowjobs but not actual sex)
- when going to a swingers party or club bring your OWN toys , condoms , and drinks. And sometimes your own women (it depends on how open minded she is ).
- always tell smart women their sexy and sexy women their smart .
- Always remind your women how sexy she is especially when you buy her something slutty for Fredrick’s of Hollywood.
- Fellas when you meet a women online and decide give her a different picture of yourself please don't make it a pic of your cock.
- Also if you trying to hook with a chick online , please DO NOT USED THE FOLLOWING LINES: “hey ma , wanna fuck?”, “so when can I hit that “ , “ do you sick dick” or the all time favorite, “you're sexy as fuck , can it eat you out , then take you out to dinner “ . believe being friends with a a lot of women I hear them complain about all the horrible come lines that they have to endure , but also ladies you all should get together and find out what cumdumpster fell for these lines and kick her ass , because all it took was one dumb insecure chick to cave in and let him think has smooth with those lines .
- When out of normal lube , cooking oil is the best substitute(the story on this is coming soon...) , just a messy clean up .
- Booty calls should be set-up 24 hrs in advance if they're on the top of your list , for the bottom tier , it when ever your 1st ,2nd ,and 3rd picks have bailed on you , think for them as the break glass pussy …....everybody needs a fail safe plan.
- Never be afraid to date outside your race, or body type. Sometimes you can find love in the most unlikely places .
- Drunken sex is fun, but it only fun if BOTH parties are drunk.
- Never date two women at the same time , while living in the same household .(trust me there was a reason why the 3 wives in Big Love had their own homes...)
- fellas never asked women a to rate your sexually skills on a scale of 1 to 10, because you'll never score a 10 , that score belongs to her vibrator.
- International women rules: British give give sloppy blowjobs, French chicks are the masters of blowjobs , German women are out to kill men with their vaginas lol.
- I take the ugly truth over a beautiful lie any day of the week .
My list is always growing, and changing
, because life itself is a ever ending learning processed.some people
might have already figured this out , and some people might have
learn something new . I'm not saying try my way of living life ,
these rules work for me , and result can vary , so if you they to
live by rules and codes and fail , well don't blame me .
